I made  my way to the bathroom and debated this test taking- “was it too early? should I wait a few more days?” but temptation gave in and I peed on the stick.

I waited there in the bathroom and then looked down after I washed my face and paced a little- there it was, two pink lines. Unmistakably a positive! I looked at the box again, making sure I wasn’t reading it wrong. Then looked back in the mirror and said outloud to myself “This is it, your life is going to change.” I took a few breaths, containing my emergent giant smile, and opened the bathroom door to make my way downstairs.

My dog came with, and ran down in front of me. I could hear Mike playing his videogame on the big tv at the other end of the rec room. “Is that my Brisco?” he said. I walked quietly and quickly threw the room and turned the corner.

“Oh hey baby, good morning,” Mike said, with a sleepy smile for me. I smiled back, unable to really speak, walked over to him, kissed him, and took the test out from behind my back.

I put it up towards his face as I stepped back from our soft morning kiss, and he looked at it, looked at me, looked at it again, and said “Is that what I think it is?”

I nodded eagerly, “yes!!! It’s positive, I’m pregnant!”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

His eyes welled up and a huge smile spread across his face. He threw his controller on the floor and we hugged eachother. This was the beginning of something special. My first pregnancy and ultimately bringing Lincoln into this world.

It’s now 2011. It’s March, and to nobody’s surprise really it’s still winter here. Remember last year in northern Ontario? We had a nice, early spring. By now the snow was gone and birds were chirping. However, the ground is still icy and I, like many Canadians north of whatever line we’re north of, am sick of winter.

Speaking of sick, my dear husband caught “that cold that’s going around,” due to me giving it to him though. What a boring, icky weekend. To top it off I took a slip down our deck stairs. Ouch, my back! I feel like I’ve lifted some major weights, but nope, it’s the other kind of muscle pain and I just hope I mend soon. Thankfully nothing broke.

I have to train damnit! I have to get those running shoes on tonight and do a week 4 run from the C25k program. Especially since I have that 5k race in about 4 weeks, so yeah, gotta get my butt in gear. And not only for that reason, but the scale went up yet again and I am sick of this “extra baggage.”

So back to mydailyplate and being accountable to myself for the food I fuel my body with.

So what’s new since April? Um, I can’t remember!

Summer happened I guess. It was really an awesome summer. We only got one camping trip in, but it was perfect.  We swam a lot, ate outside, barbequed, walked/hiked, etc. 

Work continues to happen. I loved it most days, even during the crazy, busy months of July-August. 

True Blood happened- great season! We started a new tradition of watching it with my brother and his wife- every Sunday night, our place, often dessert and coffee was involved.

Saw my first drive-in movie. Can’t believe it took me all these years to finally go!

I had a very fun trip to Toronto in July, where I spent some memorable time with old friends of college and oh, got my hair cut.

Oh, the big thing I did was biking to and from my parent’s house- which in total was about 43 km.  That has been a goal of mine for years. So yay me! 

Mike ran his first marathon too! That was a fun weekend!

That’s all for now- just remembered this blog and thought I’d pop by for a quick hello.

So this week has been going through the process that comes with death.   It’s hard to mourn someone you weren’t exactly close with, yet still was someone you saw regularly and was there as, well, family.  It was my mother’s brother. The first of the siblings to pass away.  She took it pretty good. On Monday she was still sleep deprived but had already shed tears and was doing okay.

The funeral is tomorrow. I’m on sandwich duty this afternoon, for the post-funeral lunch. I also have some brownies to ice.  At least I can help in some little way. It’s weird how food sort of turned into something I could offer. On top of the plethora of phone calls and hugs of course.

Throughout the years I’ve always made resolutions. I’ve also bit my tongue when that clichéd person would say “I don’t make resolutions, I don’t believe in them.” Ok, great, you are soooo unique *rolls eyes* But I turned into that person this year! Eek!

Why? Why have I turned into that pretentious naysayer of resolutions? Well, it all starts with what I accomplished last year and how it wasn’t at all related to New Year’s Eve.

See, in April I joined sparkpeople.com (yet again) and started a new profile name and actually started using it regularly. But August I’d lost 10 lbs and by November I’d lost 15. In 6 months I’d gone from Obese (damn those BMI people) to just good ol’ Overweight.

And this accomplishment was not a New Year’s Resolution. Nope, it was a middle-of-April resolution and actually more like a weekly resolution. Every week, and sometimes just on any given day I would be committing myself to weight loss and making better choices. 

I also started the Couch to 5k program and actually finished it! I mean, that was the first time in my life that I probably stuck to something (er, other than college and ok, maybe a few things).

So yes, fitness was a “goal” in 2009- but the resolve that brought it on was a constant reminder. It was a daily motivator. It was honestly a mental challenge at times. I mean, it really takes that brain power to run 5k and resist that piece of cake.

So no, there will be no resolutions this year.  Only the same things I’ve been telling myself every day when I need to find that inner drive and motivation. That every day is a new start. That I can be a better person- kinder to others, more forgiving, less judgemental. That I can find the stamina to run more and run a 10k race this year. That I can keep logging my food and being accountable to myself. That I can fit into size 8s again and feel better about my body and my self-image. Yada yada yada.

Wait- does this make me completely hypocritical to be writing about not making resolutions and then citing off all the areas I want to improve in? Hmmmm.

What is the Couch to 5k? Well, for starters it’s a wonderful way to work past shin splints and learn how to properly warm up and also how to pace yourself and actually learn to run.

Secondly, it’s a program that turns a regular couch potato into a runner.  I should note tha I’m not really a couch potato, but I certainly was no runner and I was missing my jogging days and cursing my shin splints enough to say “darn it, myself, let’s do this!”

I followed the Chubby Jones podcast – which I humbly believe has much better music than the conventional Couch to 5k programs you’ll find online when you first look this puppy up.  Not only do I prefer Chubby’s (aka Mia) music selection- but her personality is refreshing.  For the first 3 weeks it was like she was running beside me, complaining yet pushing me on.

So I have finished the program and ran 5 k. But I’m no where near done. My list of goals include running a faster 5k, training for 10 k and over all increasing my speed and endurance.

My only complaint is that after running the first 5k, there wasn’t that push to run it again. The 9th week podcast was set up like it was your only run- she kept talking about how “you can do this” and I sort of never did some more runs in that week. I also discovered that she was running at a pace of 6 mph, which I was pretty far from accomplishing (I usually jog at 4.5 to 5 mph) so I didn’t accomplish it in the 30 minutes she gives you, but instead in 41 minutes. So, I have some work to do!

While autumn officially started last week, today it finally broke. It’s a little above 0 here (celcius) and quite windy. I let the dog out at about 4 a.m. this morning and couldn’t help but think of the Guns and Roses song “November Rain” because it was this icy rain hitting our deck.

Yesterday I sat at my computer and was going to send out some emails but of course got distracted with ol’ Facebook. I saw an ad for Graphic Design stuff- something about using this site to set up your free portfolio and get assignments. So I checked out the site- meh, not great. But I ended up googling “graphic design assignments” and spent a chunk of my afternoon doing well, graphic design assignments.

While I want to go back to school and am waivering between just starting working now towards my BA in Communications and a distance ed. Graphic Design course, I figured this was a great way to teach myself some more.

I love how technology has made our lives simpler (er, and more complex in some ways). But isn’t it great that we can just search for free lessons and teach ourselves things? I’ve also been trying to teach myself guitar (ack, with no success) and use the interweb regularly for online tutorials for photoshop and illustrator (mostly for cool desktop design ideas).

Isn’t it crazy how when you’re having an argument with someone about “who that was in that movie” and “who sang that song” you can just google it and find the answer, right there! No cracking open encyclopedias or agreeing you’ll just never find out.

Sure, this has been around for a long time now, but I guess I just never cease to be amazed at what resources are out there. But mark my words, when I have kids they will have encyclopedias and they will have to go to the library at times.

That’s my little rant for today- if you read this, share what you use the internet to learn about. Take photoshop tutorials too? Learning the saxaphone or how to draw?

So what has been transpiring in my life? Well, lots I suppose!

My hubby and I are still trying to make a baby and well be seeing a fertility clinic in 4-6 months (takes a long time to get in there!). But our friends are having better luck! Two of our bestest friends are having a baby! It’s very exciting- we got to see the ultrasound the other day, already into the 2nd trimester.  We can’t wait to see our friend full on pregnant too, and help them with whatever they need. I secretly hope we get asked to help paint the nursery, but of course I understand that sort of thing is usually nice to do with just your spouse.

Though we are on their “call list” when she goes into labour, in case he’s working – we’ll be there to rush her to the hospital and pace down the hallways.

What else… well, work is going well. Been here 3 months now. I’m proofreading a report today and got sidetracked by remembering I have a blog. Sometimes when editing I just get pulled away from my task at hand- gotta focus!

Been working on the annual report and happy to say it’s almost done after a few last translations to be made and final changes.  And yes, work is going well. I woke up at 2 a.m. today though, worrying about my performance evaluation. I don’t know why I’m so worried- I guess I just feel like somehow everything good will get pulled out from under me. Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t blog on staff time.

So much has happened since I last blogged.  Mostly good, but some bad.

1) Started my new job! I’ve been here for almost a month now (started April 14). So far, so good. Frustrating at times because of little things, but for the most part I love it. I love how as each day comes, more happens. Now I’m doing the Annual Report (writing, layout, coordination, etc), website updates, various committees, starting a monthly newsletter, oh goodness lots of stuff! Sometimes I get in that position where I work too fast, but I’m learning to pace myself.  I also need to stay super-organized here and so far, so good.

2) New hair cut! Ok, not drastic and this just happened last night. But I got a trim and then some highlights and lowlights. I feel very sexy and saucy today.

3) Finances have improved so much! Mostly of course due to the increase in my salary. I also got a nice little commission cheque and vacation time paid out from my old job. We paid off a bunch of stuff and are taking a trip to one of our nearby cities this weekend. So far our plans include a nice (but moderately priced) hotel room and a hockey game on Saturday night. 

I hope to pick up a few items in the city. A messenger bag, bike lock, new black boots for work, some kitten heels so that I can start wearing skirts already, maybe a couple of shirts and a new skirt, and I really need some gym clothes.

4) One different is also our dog. We got him an anti-bark collar and wow, we have a totally new dog!! He has turned so passive and sweet these past few days! It’s awesome! I think that, and the new halti collar we got him, has made him less aggressive and his training is kicking in.  Mike and I actually love our dog these days. Yes, still a few messes during the day, but meh, we’ve adjusted now.

5) Bad new on family front. My dad officially has cancer. We were back and forth for a few months and nothing was certain, but as of last week we know it’s cancer in the head and neck area. It’s been hard but we’re oddly enough doing well. Been spending a lot of time with my parents and awaiting news about the upcoming surgery.

The surgery is the scariest part (after that comes radiation treatment and then chemo). The sugery has risks like losing his voice, losing muscle control, etc. So yeah, sometimes it takes a lot not to cry, but we’re doing everything we can as a family to make sure we talk about everything and stay positive.

With my dad’s cancer it really makes me want to get pregnant soon. It scares me to think of something happening and him never meeting any grandchildren. Ugh, k, better stop writing before I start crying!

And then, voila, we stop for coffee on our way to work this morning and I find a $20 bill on the sidewalk.

Whaddya know? Maybe the universe felt bad for the dog incident and decided to try to cheer me up.  

PS- I spent the majority of my day thinking of what to do with that $20. I didn’t want to just spend it frivolously - it had a deeper meaning and a karmic tag attached to it. So I first got donuts for my coworkers. And then used it to buy a magazine and coffee. I also threw in a “little extra” into the work coffee fund.